Okay where do i work now? I'm still working for my previous company. This year will mark my 9th years here. But lately my job is soulless and some days I struggle to get out of bed and show up to work. I haven’t really written anything new (that’s not related to work). I want to write more for myself, but at the end of the day my brain is mush and my willpower is completely tapped out. I have nothing left to give. I’m especially weak right when I get home from work because my mood is low and I want instant gratification, so I usually succumb to watching TV or some other escapist activity until I have to get to bed and start the whole cycle again the next day. I’ve been trying everything I can to use whatever free time I have to write, but I can’t seem to do it. All the productivity articles in the world about time management etc. have not worked. I’m at the point where I feel like I'm helpless.
Now, it's June twenty nineteen. I hope another half of this year is different than the rest. I wish i can finally say goodbye to those old habits, that keep pulling me astray. I should stop letting others determine my worth. I've cut ties with some people, who are always bringing me down.
I also hope i will finally find the love, that I'm so desperately crave. I still want to travel to the places i’ve always wanted to go and take myself out, when no one wants to show.Instead of chasing, i wait. Instead of flaking, i commit. Instead of giving up, I've succeed.
So what do i hope to come? I hope i can be a better version of myself.
