Hello Twenty Nineteen!

Omaigad. It's been years that i don't update anything here. I have a full-time job which take most of my times, boxing classes, out of the office trips and etc. Time is a constant challenge. And after a few years, here i am. I need to start writing, because i always believe that, writing heals! InsyaAllah, moving forward i will try to use all the little bits of time i have to write more. On the other hand, I'm working on my first book. Which a love journal and i hope i will be able to finish it one day. Right now, i have write 35 pages. And I'm so proud of myself. *gentle pat on my shoulder!


Okay where do i work now? I'm still working for my previous company. This year will mark my 9th years here. But lately my job is soulless and some days I struggle to get out of bed and show up to work. I haven’t really written anything new (that’s not related to work). I want to write more for myself, but at the end of the day my brain is mush and my willpower is completely tapped out. I have nothing left to give. I’m especially weak right when I get home from work because my mood is low and I want instant gratification, so I usually succumb to watching TV or some other escapist activity until I have to get to bed and start the whole cycle again the next day. I’ve been trying everything I can to use whatever free time I have to write, but I can’t seem to do it. All the productivity articles in the world about time management etc. have not worked. I’m at the point where I feel like I'm helpless.


Now, it's June twenty nineteen. I hope another half of this year is different than the rest. I wish i can finally say goodbye to those old habits, that keep pulling me astray. I should stop letting others determine my worth. I've cut ties with some people, who are always bringing me down.


I also hope i will finally find the love, that I'm so desperately crave. I still want to travel to the places i’ve always wanted to go and take myself out, when no one wants to show.Instead of chasing, i wait. Instead of flaking, i commit. Instead of giving up, I've succeed.


So what do i hope to come? I hope i can be a better version of myself.