It's Okay Not To Be Okay..

All my life, I've struggled with loneliness. I can be with a group of people, yet still feel this strange lonely feeling deep inside. Do you know that feeling when you feel really alone and like no one cares? Why am i so lonely? How do I stop feeling so lonely? This is probably the most common question I've been asked lately. I understand why. Loneliness feels awful.

My life hasn't been easy. My parent get divorced when i'm 13, and I have had a lot of bad days since then. People try to help me feel better, but it doesn't always work. Sometimes I feel completely alone, with no one to talk to. But even in those bad times, I know Allah is there for me. Allah send a lot of good and great people to me. Thank you Allah for all of the blessing, friends and siblings You have gave me. Syukur Ya Allah.

I guess it's normal to get down sometimes. And it's normal to feel like your life is a big mess, especially when something awful happens. That's why Allah wants us to know we can count on Him, even when it seems like the whole world is against us.I try to think that it’s okay to be alone, even it’s been a while, it doesn’t have to make me feel uncomfortable. I don't have to feel bad about being alone because its my choice. Better alone than having a bad company. I try to be my own bestfriend. But deep inside me, i know what i felt. It's okay not to be okay.

What i do? Normally i waste some time on Facebook, Instagram, Wechat, Twitter or playing Candy Crush. Yeahh i've been attached to Candy Crush for the past 2 years i think. And i still can't move on. I'm on level 1290 now. When i'm bored, i will just grab my blanket and sleep. To my future special husband, wherever you are, why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? Rescue me. For my self note, remember, everything will be okay if we love and believe in ourselves, and understand that hope floats around us.. InsyaAllah.